AP- In a stunning victory today of worth over image, Macker,11, was named "The Best!" by all those with an opinion worth a darn.  Those who deny it aren't worth a biscuit. 

    The announcement was given this morning at 8:00 am and was repeated frequently throughout the day.

    Macker (aka Brown Boy, aka Bear, aka Ferocio, and aka Lord Snuggle Puff) a Chocolate Labrador of 150 glorious pounds was quoted as saying, "Aaaaroooff, ruff!" upon hearing the good news.  He soon after returned to a bone he was working on. (see inset)
 

    The people he likes to take for walks added to his comments.  Damian Salerno, a portly gentleman, 25, in a rare moment of comprehensible thought had this to say, "Well, I always knew that Mister Brown [Macker] was the best because there isn't any dog better than him.  Best means there is nothing better than it.  Right?"

    Yes Mr. Salerno, that is right.

Tegucigalpa: Macker (bottom right) aiding relief workers during the horrible floods

    Friends of Damian, Tony "Extreme" Balon, and Pat "Sux" McJerque, briefly opined:       

            Balon- Dude, Mr. Macker is sooo brown!
            McJerque-    Yep.
            Balon- Like really, really brown!
            McJerque-    Umm.  Yep.
            Balon- Its crazy.  He's totally the best!

    Others were slightly more insightful. 

    Many reasons were cited for recognizing his superlative pup status, chief among them;  his cuteness, his humanitarian work, and his snuggibility (which includes scratchitude).

    According to IRS superman, and Macker's legal owner, Walt, "Macker is always down in Tegucigalpa [Honduras] to help with all the flooding.  He's a very nice boy, except when he shits and pisses on the carpet.  When he does that, I want to send him to the sausage factory.  Damn shitter pisser."

Chica:  A real charmer, but not the best.

    Drs. Brian and Kilian May,  canine relations experts both, expressed grave concern over using the word "cute" to describe The Big Brown Guy.  "Cute," the two agreed, "conveys a physical attribute and as such is limited in the true dog characteristics it can describe... ...To understand Macker's image is to understand life at a higher level.  You must see his inner magnificence as a harmonic life force resonance that transcends mere 'Cuteness' and awes the beholder..."

     Whatever.

   Macker cute?  Its just so much more than that.  He truly humbles man.  He is the best!

    Other dogs have had trouble recognizing his status.  Chica, a very precious, mostly Dalmatian, mixed breed, seemed distant and unresponsive immediately following this morning's initial announcement.  When asked for comment, a muffled whinny was all she could muster.

    How long will Macker be the best?  "The best is forever," stated Drs. May, "as long as he keeps pooping in the backyard, he'll be the best.  THE BEST!"